Spell (6/11/2002)

in spite of every little things that happened
over the great and not so pretty moments that we've had
I still find myself loving you
just as much as the first time I said it,
just as much as I've always been.

of all the questions in my head
one that pops up time and time again
"what have I done to deserve this spell you cast upon me?"
a spell that makes one bleed in the heart
yet a spell that makes one crave for more
not for more bleedings, please
but for a closer truth to reality.

the reality of love
the love that you claimed for me

is it a love that is genuine
is it a love that is true from the heart
is it a love that was created to seek
for something to satisfy one's greed.

I get swayed easily
by thoughts of these
please do forgive my twisted mind
I just can't help it and I didn't ask for it

perhaps we haven't realised
just how much in common we are indeed
just like you, I get scared
just like you, I get insecure
just like everyone else, we get paranoid.

I hope what it really means
is we love each other too much
to lose the other
I hope the love that we have
will manage to pull us thru
the uncertainties
that are looming around us

but one thing is for certain
is that I love you
more than you know
maybe it wasn't a spell that was cast upon me
but a spell that was cast upon us

it could be hard to believe
that these words came from me
should I say welcome
or just let it be

but this is me
and it's genuine
it's hard for me to deny
that
I love you dearly

missing you,
xoxo